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You're unique, just like everyone else....
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Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
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Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
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Save a mouse, eat a pussy
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Keep Earth clean, it's not Ur-anus
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Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow
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Make love not war. Condoms are cheaper than guns
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Don't do it behind the garden gate love is blind but the neighbours ain't!
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When you judge others you dont define them you define yourself. :-)
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The more I learn, the more I forget. So why would I learn?
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You're looking at perfection, and it ain't you!
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Do blind eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
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If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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Never wish on 1 star more than 1nce cause your luck ALWAYS runs out!
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I know that you know that I know that you think I'm the best, that's why you never tell me
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We both know I'm the best, that's why you never tell me
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Women/Men are proof that women/men can take a joke
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As long as my boss pretends that I'm earning much, I'm pretending that I work hard
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An answer to that nagging question............... I let the dogs out!
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What do an Icebear have after swimming? Snowballs!
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Nobody like me, so I always have 1 friend
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Girls/Boys are great, every boy/girl should own one
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You know it's always business doing pleasure with you
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If you throw rice at weddings, will asian people throw hotdogs?
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I've lost my phone number, can I have yours?
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One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
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When I'm good, I'm really good, but when I'm bad I'm better
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I'm not smiling at you, I'm trying not to laugh!
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24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence? I think not...
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I'm fat, but your ugly. I can diet
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English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
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You may laugh because I'm different but I laugh because you're all the same
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If at first you dont succeed skydiving isnt for you
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Take a break like it is a sort of screen saver!
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I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
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ScReW TwiZzLeRS!! i'LL MaKe YoUr MoUtH HaPPy!
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I aint guilty, im just not innocent! ;-)
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Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters
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For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the center of
YOUR world!
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I'm cool, I'm hot....I'm everything you're not
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You and the bank own a very lovely home
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I would tell ya to go to hell but all dogs go to heaven
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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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You don't buy the drink here, you only rent it
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All racists who are prepared to die for their country, why not now?
Drinking is the answer, I don't remember the question
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Superman is a travestite
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Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
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Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question
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Lower the age of puberty!
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God bless Atheism
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I drink to make other people interesting
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My life is like a porno-movie, without the sex
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An unfortunate person is one tries to fart but shits instead
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A miserable person is one who truly enjoys a fart but can't
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Anarchists of the world, unite!
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Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
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Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out
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Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
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You and the bank own a very lovely home
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I would tell ya to go to hell but all dogs go to heaven
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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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You don't buy the drink here, you only rent it
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All racists who are prepared to die for their country, why not now?
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Drinking is the answer, I don't remember the question
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Superman is a travestite
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Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
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Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question
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Lower the age of puberty!
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God bless Atheism
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I drink to make other people interesting
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My life is like a porno-movie, without the sex
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An unfortunate person is one tries to fart but shits instead
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A miserable person is one who truly enjoys a fart but can't
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Anarchists of the world, unite!
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Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
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Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out
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Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
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If my car was a horse, I would have to shoot it!
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An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire hius work
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Men are like roses, you got to watch out for all the pricks
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Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised
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I don't hate you, I just need someone to take my anger out on
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I love deadlines, especially the whooshing sound they make as they go by
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Whoever said nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door
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Haggis is a self cleaning meal. Leave it for a while and it will get up and walk away
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A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings
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Who's cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have a "s" in it?
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Why is it that the most unattractive people in this world insist on being nudists?
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I'm not a dumb blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
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I don't know if I'm a player. Ask one of my girlfriends
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Virginity is like a bubble... One tiny prick and it's gone
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If guys had their period, they'd probably brag about the size of our tampons
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Fat people are harder to kidnap
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean they all have to?
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Fat Girls are like Mopeds: fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to catch you
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If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten
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I wear the pants in this house. My wife just tells me which pair to wear
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All kids are gifted; some just open their packages earlier than others.
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Will the highways on the Internet become more few?
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We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more
information in our heads
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Most lies are false
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The internet is a great way to get on the net.
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I'll beat you with a stick!
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Your family is like a cactus, its a bunch of pricks!
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The computer may have beaten me at chess, but it was no match for kick boxing!
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My imaginary friend says his big toe thinks ur crazy
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Say no to drugs, give them to me!
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Don't smoke cigs, you only have 2 lungs. Smoke weed, neurons, you have millions.
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I do whatever the voices in my head tell me to do
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Sharing is caring, and I don't care!
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Win if you can, lose if you cant, but ALWAYS cheat!
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:P 1 goose, 2 geese, 1 moose, 2 meese?
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When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
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Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me!
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ATTENTION: Due to lack of interest tomorrow has been cancelled.
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Even the prettiest girls have to fart!
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I was born better than you; get over it...
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Stupid people are always stupid!
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Get rich quick: Marry your boss!
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The seafood diet... see food and eat it!
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Whoever said money can't buy happyness didnt kno where 2 shop!
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Come to the dark side. We have cookies.
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If you drew an arse on your face, no one would tell the difference!
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MATHS a.k.a Mentally Affected Teachers Harrasing Students
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Save a tree, Eat a beaver
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Why am I so cool... mainly cuz I have a fan in front of me
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If money doesnt grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
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Why are football stadiums so cool... cuz there are loads of fans there!
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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My teacher said I could become anything, so I became drunk!
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Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!
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Sanity is a game... u either win it, or u lose it
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Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder (B)
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Mary had a little lamb, her farther shot it dead, now it goes 2 skool with her, between 2 slices of bread!
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I like your new face, but my monkey wants his ass back.
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Smile and the world will smile with you, snore and you'll sleep alone!
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People who don't like cats were mice in the earlier life.
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Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead!
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I'll laugh the day u jump of the bridge, but I'll cry if u survive
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My cat just knocked over a candle, which set fire to my dog. He, in turn, ran into my curtains and now they're ablaze too. Damn it!
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If you want to be a party animal, you have to learn to live in the jungle.
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Evil Gummi bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue, and that purple one took my shoe!
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Click HERE to see how to fool an idiot!
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Your life is like a treadmill - you're running, but getting nowhere!
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Sometimes I think I'm so romantic I could marry myself!
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If you're reading this, you owe me $10
